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"Detached love"

"Detached love",

Conference given by Jaya on March 15, 2013, during meditation:

I so often speak about the beautiful science of yoga that I sometimes forget to talk about You.
For the one who engages on this way, the practice will make you a researcher, a luminous being, a free being.
Frequently, in life, one time or another, someone just tells you that he is desperate, on the brink of suicide.
"I trusted my wife or my husband, he or she told you, totally. However, he or she deceives me and has a relationship with someone else. I’ve just discovered that, she left hanging letters, or pictures.
I questioned him (or her), he or she began by denying, but finally admitted that he or she loves this person for a long time. I live a such nightmare that I want to die"

Let’s talk about trust.
In the loving relationship, trust is often more a tactic for the human being who is convinced and wants to convince the other that if you trust, you will not be cheated by the other. Thus formulated, this creates the possibility of blaming the other or to blame oneself, if there is transgression.

Trust wouldn’t it mean to trust on the freedom of the other, on his intelligence and his ability to love? And if the other is intelligent, he can choose. He is free.
The pain that you experience when one falls in love with someone other than you, it only looks yourself. Your suffering is yours, not his own. You don’t suffer from love, you suffer from jealousy.
The real trust can be abused. Love can flourish only between completely free human beings. If you suffer, it’s because your trust was not one, but rather a strategy to hide your own fears. If your partner starts to love one or other, if you don’t agree with his choice, with his desire for independence and freedom, your resistance will be extreme pain.
As to speak about "your half" in speaking of the other, means to reduce by half the individuality, this is to cut his individuality.

You practice by kriya, the purely energetic aspect of tantra, and rarely I approach this aspect of tantra yoga itself. However the unexpected effects of this practice transform yourself and therefore invite you to change your positioning in life experience.
Yoga is enfranchisement. It’s goal is to liberate your mind from its own enslavement.
It helps you to open yourself, to create in your being and in your life creative spaces so that existence is expressed, so that it freely flows.

When you’re in love, an inner radiation animates you. The sharing, the love experience makes the being light and harmonious.
You become in tune with the clear side of the universe, you perceive the power of life which flows inside you in a sublime way, you become spontaneous and natural.
Tantra tells you:" If you are in order, the world is in order inside you. When you are in harmony, the entire existence is in harmony for you. When you are in disarray, the universe is in disorder."

But this order mentioned by Bhagavan Sri Rajneesh, a both controversial and however an awaken master, is not an order imposed from the outside that you comply, as if that were the case, you would be able to consume yourself inside, he says.

The grace of your love experiences can come only if you become natural, spontaneous, if you become an authentic being.
The grace of the spiritual knowledge follows the same principle.

You will need so much courage to abandon what people might say and think?

Leave the image that others have of you or that you have shaped over many years.

Don’t let people and society impose their rules on you. When you deviate from pre-established standards, you become a rebel.
The Yogi is a rebel.

The traps are similar in spiritual practice. The first is the spiritual ego. The image of the perfect spiritual researcher with an almost ascetic life, impeccable behavior, strict diets, adjusting to the spiritual principles you set for yourself, these are also images that need to get rid.

Paradoxically, the social jungle, where there is often the inner chaos in each individual, imposes its rules to the community. We had to fight to make democracies which are still today real battle fields, when it comes to assert individual freedom, moreover in the choice of your sexuality.
In order to ensure life to flow with all its grace and harmony, we need to escape with the imposed structures so that the experience of our loving, transcendent and natural being be able to speak.

Your fears will attract fears.
Your masks will attract masks.
Your chaos will attract chaos
Changing the way you see the existence, trusting in what IS, help to open the sky.
Hush up and overcome the doctrines open the floodgates of your inner sacred rivers.

Life is adventure.
You are looking for physical, emotional security? But this will not prevent your death!

To be what you really are, is not to be moral or immoral, it means being Amoral.
It’s to be inwardly free.

l’art du kâma sutra

The art of kama sutra

What are you chained with?
Is your life happiness, serenity, poetry, harmony, ecstasy, divine?
No! Then change so that it becomes one!

You spend so much time to ensure the physical security that you forget to ensure the survival of yourself, and everything which is beautiful and moving, the delicate is pushed into the background. Is that the meaning of your passage over the earth, do you love the other with that? With your bank account and the image you give?

Let’s return to our couple falling apart.
Love is a burning shakti. If it doesn’t progress upwards, it goes downwards, it involutes, it contaminates itself.

According to the vision of yoga, if love has the chance to evolve, it may eventually be an ultimate experience of the divine, it becomes meditation, prayer. It transcends you by changing your nature and its own.
It becomes devotion, adoration. With an expanded consciousness, it grows up.
This requires that the path of two protagonists lovers is a quest.

Passionate love is intended to be burnt out by its own nature.
It’s creative, fertile, reaper, magnifying. But passion and senses are transformed.

Sex may take less appeal. When love runs out, the heart can take over compassion. Then your partner becomes a friend who helped you to attain the state of consciousness which has become yours. Your love becomes compassion and gratitude, if you are a spiritual researcher. Otherwise, you run a serious risk to turn it into rejection, hate, neglecting and misunderstanding.
Anyway, even if your heart is full of compassion and gratitude, you must remain free.
To leave one’s partner only under spiritual pretexts simply indicates that you’re selfish and heartless. The knowledge must come with compassion. But if love has been exhausted, you have to leave.

The inner illumination doesn’t depend on the other, it depends on your only inner change. It depends on your way to integrate the differences, to be open to the flow of life, as spontaneously as possible.
Love exists insofar as consciousness expands. Expand the field of your consciousness, so you grow in love.

To fall of love is also a part of the way.
The being is so complex with these many love stories, even those of his former lives, that his memory of love is filled. The path was long, but there is still a long way to go.

To be wrong, to make mistakes, is the nature of the love path itself. The falls are there to make you grow and learn to walk.
Experiments of life are required.

’’ So where are you consciousness when human beings get lost?
To find the infinite deep within our cells,
You must be a seeker using a scalpel
and incline the back with humble knowledge.
Meditate and dream are not the same thing...
The field of love is a lab,
where the living emotion is poorly dissected
and human beings get lost or attached,
Without the knowledge of the limits their experiences take"...
Author Jaya

The one who seeks, who never gives up the quest, will overcome his own darkness.
Accept the tunnels, don’t refuse them, whatever your concerns.
Learn once and for all that it’s not the others that you have to change, but yourself. Live your life fully from moment to moment, even during periods of darkness or doubt, because at both ends of the tunnel, there is brightness.
The spiritual researcher is one who knows to face up to his falls, his stumbles, and accepts his weakness. This develops his strength.
The more you will grow spiritually, the less there will be falls. Feelings of guilt and annihilation must be banished.
By accepting things as they are, you leave this space for life to create again. And if you switch from one love to another, from a moment of love to another moment of love, from a moment of consciousness to another moment of consciousness, all this is natural.
It’s life that flows.
If love is really there, then you will merge with each other, in a transcendent love. A love that will get you home, in your own inner being. This will allow you to meet with your inner partner, namely YOU.
The true love, is when one takes you back to you.
Ordinary people run after the external things to escape from the meeting with themselves. But the spiritual seeker, who looked inside him, and discovered the truth and love, will not be disappointed when he will look outward. He will enjoy both externally or internally.

We run to escape from what we really are, in our dark side aspects.
Don’t run away anymore, let you be.
Stop being frightened by what you are. Stop judging by common criteria. Stop judging you, stop judging the other.

You see a yogi, a tantrika, enjoying a sexual relationship or a good glass of wine?
Don’t judge him according to your common criteria. He is a free being internally, he is no more common, he is no more ignorant, if he is a real seeker.

If, in love, you use the other in order to forget you, you are a common lover.
If in love, you don’t have to escape from your inner demons, your inner emptiness, and if you share “ecstatically” because you are already filled, then you are fully free.
Certain beautiful things may be shared only in love, but this requires an alchemy. And this alchemy, you can’t create it artificially, it’s a gift from heaven.

Sometimes two people are so close to each other, that the shakti flows between them, naturally. But this subtle exchange can be effected only during special moments. And thus we move from the duality to the unified.
So be free, in duality as well as in unity, because life is unique and indefinite.
I often told you this. The one who has the spiritual knowledge, when he falls to the bottom of the well, he can find a soft cushion. Without the true knowledge, no cushion.

When you have tasted bliss, it tints your whole life, and everything becomes divine and subtle. When your meditations or your practice bring you at certain levels of perception and consciousness, they leave on you their tint in your lower experiences of life.
And you move from a common sexuality to a divine one, from a common love to a divine one, by the mere fact of being yourself, authentic, without fears and expectations.

Hari Om Tat Sat
Jaya Yogacharya


"The path of love" and "Tantra" by Osho Rajneesh
"summary and comments" by Jaya
extract from "Kâma, the audacious pathway” by N.Jorez

Translation : M.Fontaine & R.Adam de Villiers

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